20 Tips To Make Your Colleague Like You
How to make your colleagues like you? Human relationship is an art that need to be learned. It has to be upgraded continuously. This art is like software which can become obsolete as time changes. The relationship in office is very different from the relationship we find in a family.
A family is built on bond of love and commitment. But colleagues in an office or in any working environment are totally different. They come from a different background or from a different location or country. They might be from a different race and religion. They have different beliefs. They have different aspirations towards work. They do not have a common platform like a family: probably same background; same race and religion; might be same college (got a crush with your partner and got married); probably same location (you meet your sweet heart guy or girl in a bus stop or train subway and got a crush). There is common ground in a family.
We hear divorce rate is growing at a higher rate in a particular age group of married couples in a particular country. We hear this often in mass media or newspaper. There is relationship problem. But if there is a marriage ritual between colleagues I think its divorce rate will dwarf the divorce rate of husband and wife. So do not fear of statistics.
Most income is most probably earned through employment. We have to work to get an income to ‘run’ our family or our self. The average person spends about 48 to 50 ‘conscious’ hours in a week with working colleagues as compared to only 34 conscious hours with family members. Therefore the urgency to fine tune the tactics of having a harmonious relationship with working colleagues is much needed.
Be Optimistic
Today I was browsing through a calendar 2009 which depicts the Chinese zodiac. As I was reading those who were born in the year of the dog – the magic word that caught my eye was the word ‘optimistic’. Those who were born on the year of the dog are optimistic. I thought to myself why not all of us be optimistic? I mean see on the bright side of life. See the light at the end of the tunnel. Observe only the plus point in another person. If a person who is selfish but fulfills what he promised can be a trustworthy person. Each individual is born unique and this uniqueness if understood correctly we will be able to forget their fault and appreciate their goodness. Are you perfect?
Be energetic and Confident
A lethargic personality does not attract people. A lazy inactive person is seen as an unsuccessful personality. A person who enters the office arena with a life in his face and body language is seen as an approachable person. When you say ‘good morning’ with energy and dynamism you are actually transporting that energy to other person. The posture of your walking and sitting tell tales about you.
When a person sits or stands upright he is seen as a confident person. A confident person gets attraction more quickly than a person with low esteem.
Do not be rude
This is experienced by many people at work place. If your close to a particular colleague that person is most likely has had not been rude to you as others. They key to better rapport with others is to make others put in a happy state. Whenever you around them they feel happier. Use the magic word ‘please’ and ‘help’ much often. Use phrase like ‘Would you like …’ or ‘Can I suggest this to you..’ In speech and behavior you have to give an impression as a humble person. When you are humble people will see that you are nice person to be with.
Be Objective
You may have heard that to be better in interpersonal skills ‘you have to be yourself. There is a danger to this in. If you remain yourself only you will like your self not others. We cannot be ourselves with working colleague. At home you can be in your pajamas but at work you have to different. This is common sense. In behavior too you have put up a more manageable you.
Rather than being yourself you can be objective as possible. The objective is to make each one of your colleague like you. Say something nice to them. Start from the receptionist. Give your sincere comment that she looks very nice in that dress. Say something nice each day.
Enjoy gossip
Working is synonymous to gossip. Gossip is the culture for most of us. Though it is bad to spread bad gossip, it is an inevitable aspect of management- how will management manage a gossip. But since everyone is doing it if you lay back to this culture you will be disliked by many. Join in the gossip. If a gossiper says something about something show interest in that topic. Most of the workers stay in a company not because of pay or better bonus but the presence of a gossip community. If you are participating in their gossip you are wanted by them.
Enjoy being gossiped
Be prepared to take gossip in the positive way if you are the target. Be happy that people are talking about you and you are being noticed. If you resist then you are swimming against the sea current. If you react to this you will be seen as very sensitive person and people may shun you for good. The focus here is to get the community like you. If you take lightly about being gossiped most probably the gossip will fade away. Be happy and enjoy being gossiped.
Be Funny
Laughter is the best medicine. Make your colleague laugh and you will be wanted by many. Try making a story each day in a funny way and tell to your colleague. In fact, what you experience everyday can be distorted to a funny story.
Today while I was boarding a bus and I need to tap my ez-link card on the entrance tap sensor. There was a lady in front of me also boarding the bus. While I was about to tap my card I accidentally raise up her skirt wide enough to notice her panty! I got so embarrassed. Story like this can be exchanged with your colleague. If you are funny people will be glued to you.
Date Them
When I say date I do not mean to be flirty. I mean to get personalized connection with your colleague. Have you date a guy? No you are not a gay. Dating colleague is actually a healthy way of communication. You are spending your time and sometime a little money on them. You do this and your colleague will miss you.
Remember their birth dates
Most marketing companies send birthday greeting cards to pull their clients to their service. It is because your birthday is only important to one person – that is you. That is the weakest part of any human being. They feel wanted if someone sends him or her birthday greetings. This is a killer tactic in human relationship. I always sent short message service to my colleague and remember their birth day.
Listen To Their Success Story
The human is only preoccupied with oneself. It is by nature a patron of egoism. The topic in discussion is either about someone else (gossip) or about him or her. Be realistic- I think you are also egoistic. Being egoistic is part of our nature. The next time your colleague talks about him or her –remember you will be doing that also and give your time in that story. Learn to listen to their ‘success’ story.
Show Your Hospitality
Find opportunity to call your colleague to a party. New Year’s countdown is a good opportunity to invite your colleague for a party. This will create a natural bond between you and your colleague. To share your birthday, your child’ success story (after they obtain good grades in the academic results), your anniversary, your festivities with colleague are great ways to show that you will want to bond them.
Gain Attention
Success in any field is a function of the majority vote. Just like in politics, leaders are chosen because they have a majority vote. It is because they are different from their predecessor. Is Mr Barack Obama different from Mr Bush?
Likewise, if you want support from your colleague you have to be crowd puller. The simple thing you have to do is to be different. The way you dress or the way you speak has to have a charisma to pull them towards you. If you are a guy start letting down your hair – that will be different in today’s context.
Be A Baby
How do you receive a baby? A baby is cute and very manageable. The baby is always nice to hold and taken care of. Everyone likes a baby. Look out for opportunity for people to guide you. God like to guide us –why? It is because God like our ‘innocent’ stage which had been mentioned in many religious holy books like the bible and the Al Quran. God want to us to approach in an innocent manner. Most people are in fact helped miraculously by nature when they have been cut off by almost all logical help.
If you want an affiliation with a colleague, even if you know what to do, request for an ‘innocent’ help. They will come close to you.
Tell Them A Sad Story
People, who are very good in communication, like to relate a story or two. Facts can be sometime boring. Communication is the stumbling block in interpersonal relationship. A good communication has an added flavor of a sad story. The important thing is to have a third party involved as the subject. By telling a sad story about someone you are actually giving an impression you are a compassionate person. A compassionate person is well respected in society. Can you forget Mother Theresa even she is no more with us?
Attend their invitation with a gift
Attend your colleague invitation. Invitation is a great sign for bonding. Attending to invitation is also a sign of respect if we respond favorably. But you can add fuel to that bonding is by giving a gift when you attend the invitation.
Visit when they are sick
If a colleague fall sick that is the greatest opportunity. Scientist told us a long time ago that babies who are well taken of will become to develop right personality when they become adult. It is all about human touch. Touch is a fantastic way of getting connected with your colleague. Your sick colleague will be very happy when they have visitors and touch them and tell them she or he will be well.
Congratulate them for their promotion
Praise is often cited a good practice of gelling with anyone. But when you praise someone at the right time it is a perfect dart of rapport building. When your colleague get promoted next time, take this opportunity to tell them they deserve more in life. Try out this tactic and you will get a fantastic rapport link from your colleague.
Model them
Modeling will also has some good result in creating a bond with colleague. When I say modeling is actually to capturing the style of their communication and movement. Each individual is unique. If you can copy that uniqueness and relate them when you communicate it is a plus point for a bond to form. This has to be carried out when you are dealing with one particular colleague.
You can model the behavior of most popular people. If you watch the American Idol the most popular judge is Mr Simon Cowell. His emphatic style of communication is admired by many. This you can do in a group communication.
Help them
Live and let live. Even a person born with a silver spoon needs to perform an action to use it. Effort is what matters in living. Offer you advice if your colleague wants them. Most people are actually proud or shy to ask. This is bad habit. If you are colleague, you are most likely on the same position or ‘same boat’. There is nothing wrong to ask and learn. If someone asks for a help sincerely help them. You will be admired.
Put on a smile
Smile is the facial expression most people like to see. A good smile couples with sincerity. Put a good smile as it is the first impression that you are getting ready to connect. Smile will not carry yourself very far if you did not do a bit to practice the points mentioned above. At least try one point at a time and then you smile.
Communication | Gazzali Maidin
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Hi Mas
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gazzali
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Hi Gazzali Maidin,
Very good and informative aricle. Thank you very much.
Regards,
Rahul