Is there is a correlation between shyness and success. While I was writing this article I looked back into my own life and understood that I have improved in my social contact now than when I was in my younger days. If only I could have understood then I could have caught up much earlier with the route to a successful enriching life – perhaps a different life all together.

It is my shyness which had made me what I am today. It is the preoccupation of the mind to avoid rejection which had made us to take the decision to live with it. For example, the choice we make in marriage had to do something with our own shyness. In Asian cultures – perhaps 20 years ago – a couple who had decided to marry was not their personal choice but rather the decision of their parents. For a girl to ‘love’ a guy and get married was something very unnatural and ‘dirty’ to many parents. I was not like that and entered into marriage because I conciously decided to marry the girl I love. I am happy with the decision I made and learned also to love my wife throughout life .

 Reason For Shyness

Rejection is what everyone need to accept. People are evasive during communication. They will not tell you their true feelings truthfully. They ’act’ out their lives just to avoid rejection. They feel very jittery when they are faced with such situation like telling their true feelings to a girl or boy. They worry about being rejected. ‘What If the other party is not interested in me?” or “What If the girl says no to my proposal?” For acceptance we need to move towards our goal.

Shyness is also a result of social consciousness. “How will society sees me If I take this kind of decision?” “How will my parents perceive me If tell them I love that person?” We shy away with our decisions and choose a different destiny. Social rules are a set of parameters which can be expanded with our own reasoning and convincing argument. For example, there is always an element of shy like phobia when speaking infront of public as you will be preoccupied with words of rejection from the audience.

What Can Be Done?

Avoidance may be the right thing to do but it impedes social contact and we might be left out in the entire decision process. If we avoid just because we are shy then we have to live with others’ decision. So the best thing to do is to overcome shyness. To overcome shyness you need to do either of these two things : one is to vanish the people around you or you need to bring them to your line of thinking. It is impossible to do the former and effort is needed for the latter.

To be objective as possible helps you to overcome shyness. If you need to speak in public or to do a presentation you have to define the objective and drive your points towards the goal. In the process you will find out what is left out and you can minimise rejection from the public.

There is no way you can overcome shyness. There is always a degree of shyness in anyone. If someone says that he or she is not shy I think it is not a fair statement. You need to overcome shyness at a certain point in time to gel with society. You can overcome shyness with a clear objective and drive towards your way of thinking without offending the other party. Be cogent as possible.

To be able to convince with advantages and the likely disadvantages in a proposal will be able to shrink the ‘public frown’. If you can drive your proposal to a common platform then decision making is simple. To be able to know what the other person need is also a tactic to bring him to your point of thinking and discussion and narrow the gap of social contact. When you do this there is no place for shyness.

Shyness is the result of your fear of rejection by the other party. If you are visiting a social function you might feel shy to open up a conversation with ‘very important persons’ for example. The simple thing to do is to discuss a common topic like food and start a conversation by asking a question- ” how do you find the food being served?” You can also compliment the way people dress for the occasion.

There is no way you can overcome shyness. There is always a degree of shyness in anyone. If someone says that he or she is not shy I think it is not a fair statement. You need to overcome shyness at a certain point in time to gel with society. You can overcome shyness with a clear objective and drive towards your way of thinking without offending the other party. Be cogent as possible.

One Response to “Do You Need To Overcome Shyness”

1. Christian @ ChristianHoughOnline.com says:

   March 15, 2009 at 5:48 am

   Great post. I’m generally a shy person too and found this quite interesting.