This game everyone plays so often. Blaming others is the way out of an unfavourable situations. This becomes a popular past time because it is easy to blame others. To point fingers at others is being very rude. To blame others is not communication. It is abusing one’s power to place the responsiblility for a fault or error on others.

You Are Wrong

When we blame others for a fault or error we are actually saying that we are right and they are wrong. Are you right in the first place? Our ego says we are. But the core of the matter that brings about the mistake is from a different source altogether.

“The customer is always right” is coined by Harry gordon Selfridge, the founder of Selfridge’s Department Store in London in 1909. This phrase is typically used by businesses to convince customers that they will get good service at this company and convince employees to give customers good service. If the customer is always right means the employee is always doing wrong. I do not think this is a fair statement.

For any business transaction to get exchanged both parties has to compromise. For every dissatisfied customer the likely reason is due the unacceptable procedure or the polciy of the company itself. If you can adjust a little, there is no cause to blame others.

Hurt

Putting blame on others may result in hurt to the receiver. I have been in my profession for more than 20 years. I am in estate management. If you can get good remarks for doing your job in this field means you can do any job in the world. If a water supply pipe is in good condition no one comes and says that you have carried out a great job by maintaining it. But if water leaks out from it, I receive remarks by way of complaints. My peers told me that they wished to shift to another career but I stayed this long because I like what I do. The reason is that I understand the complaint.

When you blame others for a job not done correctly, you are not going to resolve the issue. The correct thing to do is to prevent the error again by laying out an appropriate procedure or policy rather than whine about others’ “mistakes”. It is easier to motivate others by causing joy rather than hurt in the process.

Disagreement

The cause of most disagreement is the blame others put forward for discussion. Finding a solution and moving on is a better thing to do. When the other party is blamed, disagreement crops up. In my earlier article on how to love your spouse throughout life, I have proposed several points for a better marriage. But the essence of a good marriage lie in common grounds. Most marriage hits the rock as the main problem is caused by disagreement. If you blame your wife for the horrible breakfast do you think it is the starting point of a failing marriage?

Enriching life means staying most of the time in agreement. If all the world’s nation can agree with each other I believe we can stop many wars. Disagreement causes chaos. When you stop blaming others they will agree with you.

Defensive

One of the quality of a true leader is the way he comforts his subordinates. It is this reason the others become his followers. He shows them the right path to take to avoid faults.

If the goods did not reach the customer, plan the next delivery promptly. You have to give a solution to the logistics department on the best way to deliver. If the service carried out has no favourable effect, discuss with the company staff on how to narrow down the problem rather than blaming for shoddy workmanship. Seeking for a solution is the best solution.

Putting a blame on others – be it your staff, relative or friend – it is the cause for defensive reaction. When the other party becomes defensive, it is rather difficult to attempt to find a solution.

Conclusion

The next time you want to point your fingers, point it to your self. It is a good way of knowing yourself in the circuit of a problem at hand. What contributions you can do to prevent another issue? Think how you can improve a similar situation rather than escaping and throwing the blame on others. You have to put little effort to seek for a solution. Are you a blamboy? -aks yourself.